Fairytales and White Roses
by AvngAngl
Summary: This is my entry for the Everything is Coming up Flowers April Challenge at the Chit Chat Author's Corner. Hope you all like. I was given the characters of Aaron Hotchner, Penelope Garcia and White Roses.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Criminal Minds Characters, just playing with them for a little bit. This is for the April Flower Challenge for the Chit Chat Corner.

Fairytales and White Roses

Aaron entered his office slowly. He knew what he would side on his side table, the large perfect bouquet of White Roses,the  
same White Roses that were placed on Haley's coffin to signify the pure love she had for her son and the sacrifice she made for him. He knew who placed them there every year for the last few years. He knew and loved her for it. But he couldn't bring himself to act on his feelings. He wasn't whole anymore he wasn't good enough for her. Aaron hated this day of the year. Everything about it brought horrible memories. No matter how much time past he wasn't quite sure how to approach this day with his son. Sighing deeply Aaron decided to just put his head on his desk for 5 minutes to help clear his headache.

Penelope had been on her way up to her boss's office with paperwork for him to sign off on. Seeing him lay his head on his desk through the window made Penelope shudder. Of course she knew what today was. The entire team remembered back to that day three years ago when they gathered around their stoic boss and his young son to help them say goodbye to their wife and mother. Haley Hotchner had given her life to protect her son. To buy time for her ex-husband to arrive and protect the best thing that they had ever done together. Her sacrifice was the noblest thing Penelope had ever witnessed. But, that was three years ago and every year she watched her stoic boss go through this agony. He was lonely, she knew. He was a great boss, a great dad, and a good friend to the entire team. And Penelope knew he had a secret, a big secret. Stopping to think for a few minutes she decided it was time that his secret met her best friends' secret and the real healing began. With sheer determination Penelope decided she was the BAU's answer to a fairy godmother and she took her responsibility seriously.

Marching onward towards Hotch's office she knocked softly.

"Come in" came from the muffled voice.

"Hiya boss man." Penny flounced in, you ok?

"Headache." He didn't raise his head.

"Sorry, I gotta drop these case files off for your John Hancock." Penelope said softly. "Can I help? Get you anything?"

"Thanks Penelope, just put the files on my desk. I'll be alright, it's just the time of year, it gets to me you know." Aaron raised his head slightly to look at his bubbly Technical Analyst.

"I know Hotch. Haley's been gone three years though. You deserve to be happy, so does my Jackster." Penelope urged.

"Ha" the sarcastic reply came out of his mouth. "Who'd want a broken man Penelope? Sure I do my job, sure I'm there for Jack, but emotionally I'm broken. And all the kings' horses and all the kings' men aren't going to put me back together again. No matter how much you wish for it Penelope."

"You'd be surprised just how wrong you are, if you bothered to listen to me." Penelope pouted.

"Garcia." His tone was sterner than he wanted it to be.

"Hotch…. Aaron….. I know you think that way, I know you think I'm just this big ole bubbly force that bounces around here. But I'm telling you straight there is one person as miserable as you are and for the same reasons. And whether you like it or not you are cared for at least in silence. All you have to do is want to take a chance. You do that and you might be surprised how life could be." Penelope was a bit harsher then she wanted. "I'm sorry if I'm' out of line but I'm really getting sick of my two most favorite people suffering day in and day out."

Penelope couldn't believe she said that out loud. She waited for Hotch to explode at her, and after what seemed like hours, when the explosion didn't come she decided she was in for a penny in for a pound.

"What do you mean Penelope? Who's this 'friend' you're talking about?" Hotch's had perked up by her outburst and he was curious.

"OH man, she's gonna kill me or you're gonna kill me." Garcia groaned at the trouble she might be in because of her big mouth. However, there was no going back. "Listen boss man for years I have watched the two of you dance around each other like you both had the plague. And I mean years, even before you and Haley divorced I saw the attraction. Now I don't know why you never pursued the attraction after you divorced, or why you allowed her to fall for someone else, or why for the last three years you tried ignoring her. But Boss man, you suck at hiding your interest or feelings."

"Garcia!" Hotch admonished. "It's not your place to try to hook everyone up in this unit. Much less try to hook me up with someone who obviously isn't interested."

"Hotch, for a smart man you sure are DUMB." Penelope was exasperated at her boss now.

"Penelope." He warned

"Penelope WHAT?" she went back at him. "Just because you can't or won't see that she's crazy about you. That she watches you day in and day out. That she goes out of her way to make sure you're just a little bit happier each day. That she makes sure Jack is taken care of in areas where 'dad's' just don't do well, like making cookies for his class party, and sewing costumes for his class play. Buying White Roses every year and placing them in this office so you can bring them to the cemetery with Jack." Penelope pointed to the bouquet of White Roses on his side table. "I know you've been trying to hide your feelings for her. Hell she's doing the same thing. I love you both to pieces and it breaks my heart to know that you both could have something so special but are too wrapped up in your own misery to see what's right in front of your face."

"Penelope" He tried to soothe his tech analyst.

"Don't Penelope me, boss man. Can you tell me that you honestly don't think of JJ in a manly sort of way? Because if you can look me in the eye and tell me that you've never thought of kissing her, or sleeping with her, or hell even just hugging her like a man does to the woman he loves then I will walk out this room. I will leave you both alone for once. But if you can't tell me the truth then I'm going to keep trying to make the both of you see what's right in front of you. You love her, she loves you. Hell with rules, regulations and all that. For three years I've watched you suffer being lonely since Haley died. I've seen her quietly support you and Jack. I've seen her go through her own break up with the father of her child. Grant it said father was a dick, but she ended it. She's never forced herself on you, she's figured that if you were ever interested in her you'd find her yourself. Well let me tell you, you're blind because she's been right here the whole time to help you and Jack heal from Haley's death and you've ignored it." Penelope was frantic with her outpouring of truths.

"Penelope, please listen to me." Hotch tried to soothe.

"I don't want to listen to you or HER for that matter anymore. You both are too damn stubborn for your own good. Just tell me you don't love her, or couldn't love her and I'll stop. But let me tell you I've had this same conversation with her and she can't tell me she doesn't love you. She just tells me it's hopeless. It's not hopeless if you two would just take one small step forward. Just one small step that's all I'm asking you to do." Penelope was crying now.

Aaron sat there in stunned silence. Looking at Garcia, watching her bare her soul to him about things he knew were said to her in private by his Media Liaison. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Could Garcia be right? Could JJ have feelings for him? Could he possibly be able to have some sort of normal life? Could he actually find love again? Did he dare risk it? What about Jack?

He was so wrapped up in his thinking he didn't hear Garcia speak to him again until she practically yelled.

"Hotch…Hotch….HOTCH!" Garcia's voice finally broke through his daze.

"What? I'm sorry Penelope, I was just thinking about what you said." Hotch hung his head.

"Listen Hotch, JJ will kill me if she finds out I told you how she feels. But man, you both deserve some happiness and it kills me seeing you both miserable all the time." Penelope stated softer.

"Garcia can I ask you something?" Aaron queried.

"Sure boss man anything." She replied.

"Why did JJ break up with Will?" he looked at her with very sad eyes.

"Why? Because she wasn't in love with him. She only stayed for Henry, and it became too much for her to hide her feelings for you." Garcia looked at him carefully for his reaction. "What I'm going to tell you next can never be repeated to her. You can never let her know you know this. Wait for her to tell you if she wants."

"I won't say anything Pen, I promise. But what could be so bad that she wouldn't tell anyone but you." Aaron was curious and nervous at the same time.

"Right before the end, you know between her and Will, Will was pushing her to marry. JJ never would commit to him. She finally told him she wasn't in love with him, that she was in love with someone else and well Will didn't take it well. He, he…." Pen had trouble continuing.

"What Penelope? Please tell me." Aaron begged.

"Will hit her. Hard and repeatedly." Garcia groaned at the memory of her best friend showing up at her door that night.

"WHAT?" Aaron was horrified.

"Yeah, she managed to get out of the house with Henry and come to my place. I helped her get herself back together, and made sure Will couldn't get a hold of either her or Henry again. It happened when she was at the State Department, so it was easy to hide from the team. I wanted her to call you but she wouldn't. She said pretty much the same thing you did. She didn't think you deserved a broken woman."

"Oh god, Penelope." Aaron sank back into his chair and put his head in his hands.

"Hotch? Listen it's not too late. I know you both love each other, even if you're both too damn stubborn to see it. I'm not demanding you marry her now, just try and make an effort to see if you can have something special. I love you both dearly and I just want you guys to be happy. "Penelope pleaded.

"Penelope, can you leave me alone for a little bit. I need to think about all this, Ok?" Aaron looked at his friend sincerely.

"Ok, boss man, but you'll let me know if you make any decisions." Garcia was scared he'd do something stupid.

"I promise before I do or say anything I will talk to you first. I'm not going to do anything today, it's not the day for these kinds of discussions. But I will tell you this much, I won't lie anymore especially not to you, I love JJ. I may be broken and not worth much as a man anymore but I do love her. And I won't ever hurt her." His sincerity touched Penelope's heart.

"Hotch, you aren't broken. You're scared to love and loose someone again. And I can understand that. After Haley and Kate dying, JJ being transferred then Emily almost dying it's been rough to say the least. But I've done enough grief counseling to see that you're afraid to love again. So is my buttercup, Will screwed with her head big time, with all his berating her and tearing down her self-esteem. She feels ugly about herself. She doesn't see that people love and admire her for all the wonderful things she does that come from her heart. Like those flowers there. Three years she's helped you mourn your ex-wife. Three years she's quietly helped with Jack, and this team this family. Don't you think it's time to help her and yourself a little?" Garcia said softly walking to his door. She turned around and added "IF nothing else Hotch, may be you can try to help glue her back together because she's broken too." Garcia closed his door quietly behind her.

Aaron sat staring at the closed door for a few minutes. His mind was full of questions about what he'd learned from Garcia. Could JJ love him as broken as he was? Or was he truly broken or just scared? Hell he knew he was scared. Scared to love, scared to live, scared to move forward with his life. But he was also tired. Tired of being alone, tired of not having anyone to confide in, tired of feeling like a shell of the old Aaron Hotchner. Chuckling sarcastically he remembered years gone by when he was told that he was too much of a clown to get anywhere in life. If only those people could see him now, so devoid of happiness and joy. Sure Jack was his ray of sunshine and light. He loved his son more than anything in this world. Yet, He also missed the soft touch of a woman. A hug in the middle of the night. A kiss for no reason. Hell had long had it been since he had physically been with a woman, 4 years? Five Years? He wasn't even sure anymore. The last woman he'd made love too was his dead ex-wife. And that was the night she finally admitted to him she was having an affair. How Haley had unmanned him that night, he had sworn that no woman would be allowed to do that to him again. Oh he admitted sometimes the sexual frustration got to him so bad he took matters into his own hands, but for the most part he was dead inside. The only time he felt a stirring of life was when JJ touched him inadvertently during the day. Her touch always set him on fire. Why was that he wondered? Could he love her his minded wandered to that fateful question. If he was honest he would say yes. He loved her. He'd loved her for a long time. Probably since he first met her. She was gorgeous both inside and out. She was smart and witty so full of life. Or at least she had been. Lately he admitted she seemed reserved and lethargic. From what Penelope had said Will had done a number on her. Could they actually help each other heal from painful pasts? He knew their boys loved each other so that wasn't a problem. He knew JJ loved Jack unconditionally. Garcia was right only someone who loved someone so totally would do the things JJ had done for him and Jack. He'd always chalked it up to her love for Jack, not a love for him. Was he wrong? Could he hope? Would she want to be with him?

He was pacing around his office now. How did he even begin to try to find out about her feelings? Maybe Penelope could help with some answers? He sighed, looked at his watch and realized it was time to go get Jack for their yearly visit to Haley. Tomorrow he would talk to Penelope again. He grabbed his overcoat and the White Roses and headed for the door.

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Aaron felt awkward getting ready for work the next morning. Jack had asked questions yesterday that he didn't realize the child harbored. The first question that floored the stoic agent was to his mother's grave "Mommy, should I tell daddy it's ok if he find's someone to make him happy?" Aaron didn't know how to respond when Jack asked his mother that. He didn't know how to respond when Jack asked his mother to "Help daddy find the right person to love him again." Aaron was never really surprised by his oh so bright young son, but after his day with Garcia and the thoughts running through his head about JJ, his sons words were like thunder and lightning crashing into him at the same time. He had been silent the whole time they were at the cemetery, but in the car on the way home Aaron had asked his son what he meant by his questions, and the boy surprised him even more by saying.

"You look lonely daddy. Since Mommy took us away you look lonely and I don't want you to be sad. Sometimes you seem happy like when we're hanging out with Henry and his mom, but mostly you look sad." Little Jack Hotchner looked at his father with adoring eyes.

"Son, I have a tough job and you to take care of, so it's not easy for daddy to meet people. Besides we're still not over losing Mommy" Aaron tried to appease the boy's questions.

"Daddy, I think I'm ready to let Mommy rest. Aunt Jess says Mommy will always watch out for me from heaven, and that it's ok to want a Mommy here on earth." Jack looked away from his father.

"Jack?" Aaron was shocked "Aunt Jess is right Mommy will always be with you. But it's not that easy to just say we'll find someone to share our lives with us." Aaron tried to be gentle with the young boy.

"But Daddy, JJ loves us already. She's told me so. And she's always taking care of me and you in the special ways Mom's do. She bakes for me, she goes to all my school stuff, and my soccer games, and we do movie night sometimes with her and henry. And Aunt Jess told me that the White Roses you bring every year when we go visit Mommy, are from JJ. Aunt Jess told me that White Roses tell a person that their love is pure and good. Isn't that what JJ is telling us, that she loves us and her love is pure and good like a Mom's love?"

Aaron was shocked at his son's words. Not mad, shocked, he had no idea Jack thought about JJ that way. And if he thought more about it, he knew Jack was right. JJ did things for them that went above and beyond being a friend or colleague. Could she actually love him and his son? Dare he hope that he wasn't so damaged that a wonderful woman like JJ would feel for him? If he thought about it longer JJ was the one who convinced him to use the White Roses to begin with at Haley's funeral. Was she, even back than trying to tell him that her love for them went deeper than friendship? He shook his head to clear the thoughts cramming his head. He had to know if Jack would be alright with him if he decided to maybe pursue a relationship with JJ.

"Jack buddy?" He began

"Yeah Daddy" Jack looked at his father lovingly.

"Say I was to ask JJ out, you know like more than a friend, would you be ok with that?" Aaron was hesitant, but his son's answer damn near had him driving off the road.

"Duh, Dad I thought that's what I was trying to get you to do?" Jack's innocent eyes looked amused at his father's frustration.

"I'm a kid Dad, but even I can see how your eyes light up and get less angry whenever JJ is near you. Mommy explained a long time ago that just because you and she split up you would always love me. She told me that someday you would meet someone and want to make a new family with me, and I should be ok with that because even though you and mommy didn't work out it doesn't mean that a person should give up on love." Jack sighed at his dad, thinking to himself that adults were so complicated.

Aaron stopped the car and stared at his son, amazed at the wisdom coming from him... Oh god how could his five year old son be so wise?

"Dad, I think you should get off your butt and tell JJ how you feel. Tell her you know she's your White Rose." Jack sat back in the car and huffed.

"Jack, son…..I love you." Was all Aaron could get out?

"I love you too Dad, but boy oh boy are you a slow learner." Jack shook his head in frustration.

"I get it Jack. You think I like JJ, and I should ask her out." Aaron ruffled his head.

"Ok, you're catching up here dad. This is a good thing. But I talked to Aunt Jess and Aunt Penny and we all agree you don't just like JJ, you love her you're just too stubborn to admit it." The young boy sat back smugly. Aaron wasn't sure if he was ready for his five year old to be this 'grown up'.

"Ok, young man you've been spending too much time with Aunt Jess and Aunt Penny. Not to mention too much time with profilers. When did you get so smart there buddy?" Aaron teased.

"I've always been smart Daddy." Jack said proudly. "I'm like you, I don't say things until I know I have to."

"Let's go home buddy." Aaron began driving again pointing the car in the direction of home.

"Ice Cream when we get home daddy?" Jack giggled

"Sure buddy. Not much of a dinner but we can splurge one night" Aaron chuckled.

"And tomorrow you'll talk to JJ? Tell her the truth about how we feel." Jack stated.

"Jack….." Aaron lightly admonished "Buddy, you got to let me think and do things my way ok?"

"Ok Daddy. In case it helps, I love JJ and Henry, and I want us all to be a family." Jack sighed.

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Aaron hadn't slept well last night. After ice cream with Jack, and putting him to bed Aaron had sat on his couch thinking about everything that had happed that day. First Garcia and her absolute certainty that he was in love with JJ and JJ with him. Then Jack with his absolute certainty that he should be in love with JJ and she was in love with him. And his own thoughts that he was in love with JJ and he didn't know if she felt anything for him.

"Arghhhhhh" he groaned. He had to get done and take Jack to Jessica's he was sure it was going to be a long day.

The ride to the federal building seemed to go faster than normal. Aaron didn't know why. Jack was happy go lucky this morning. Even made him promise he'd say 'Hi' to JJ for him. As he pulled into his spot in the parking garage he knew he was going to say something to JJ. At least find out for sure if she felt something for him. He had called the florist on his way in and sent her a bouquet of white roses, for pure honest love and one red rose for passionate love. She should be getting them shortly after they had the briefing. He decided he needed a little bolstering so he picked up his phone and called Penelope.

"Garcia speaking" he heard over his phone.

"Penelope, its Hotch." He said tentatively.

"Hi boss man what's up? You running late?" Pen was curious why he was calling her.

"No, I'm in the garage parking. I wanted to ask you a question, get your opinion on something. JJ isn't around you is she?" He rushed the words out.

"No she's not, I'm in my office alone. What's up?" Pen prodded.

"I did some thinking last night, and talking to Jack about what we talked about yesterday." Aaron offered.

"I gotta tell you boss man, my little junior G man called me this morning from Jessica's and told me what happened with you and him. Smart kid you got there dude." Garcia wasn't going to lie to her boss over something as profound as this.

She heard a sharp intake of breath and then "He called you?"

"Yeah, he wanted me to make sure you didn't screw up talking to JJ, so he asked my help." Pen told him.

"What did you say?" Aaron was scared now.

"I told him that if you were ready to confront your feelings then he needed to trust you and be there for you just in case it didn't work out the way he wanted." Penelope sighed. "I also, told him that I was pretty dang sure JJ had the same feelings about you that you have for her and he needed to be patient and let you both figure it out on your own."

"Penelope, thank you for everything. Derek's right, woman you're crazy." Aaron actually chuckled. "Oh and by the way, JJ's getting a bouquet this morning two dozen white roses with a single red rose in the center."

"Boss man? From you?" Pen was stunned.

"Yeah, I hope it's not too subtle?" Aaron was nervous again.

"Are you kidding me? That is the absolutely perfect thing to send her to let her know how you feel. She'll know it's from you."

"I hope so." He said wistfully. "See you in a few minutes, bye."

Aaron had hung up the phone grabbed his briefcase and headed to his office. He had seen JJ went he came in of course but didn't say much to her directly either in the break room or at the briefing. He was thankful that there weren't any cases coming up that were going to take them out of the local area. He had watched Penelope walk back and forth checking on both him and JJ. Time seemed to stand still waiting for the florist to come in. Finally about 3 hours after briefing Aaron looked out his office window and saw the delivery man walking into the bullpen. He must have asked for JJ's office because he left and walked down the hall. Aaron sat down and closed his eyes, hoping that his gesture was well received. Ten minutes later there was a knock on his door. He took a deep breath.

"Enter."

"Aaron?" the petal soft voice of the woman he loved said.

"JJ?" he replied softly not able to meet her gaze.

"Look at me." She ordered softly.

He slowly lifted his head to look into her eyes. He was amazed he didn't see anger or disgust like he had prepared himself for. Instead he saw…love, desire, admiration?

"Aaron, they're beautiful." She said sincerely. "I'm glad you're finally ready to move on, I think I've waited long enough don't you?" She moved around to stand in front of him, grabbing his tie and pulling up until he was standing so close to him. She reached up and placed a deep passionate kiss on his lips, and he didn't pull away but pulled her closer refusing to let her go.

Neither agent was aware of their own fairy godmother smiling broadly from the bullpen floor. Sighing contentedly she said "Fairytales and White Roses, always a winning combo."

THE END


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